Open House

So in America when you go to an Open House at school, you see art projects and you eat cookies and punch. In Cameroon, it is a two-day event.

No English! Hooray!

The official start time is 10am, so people start arriving at about 10:30 and the person who opens the ceremonies arrives after 11. There are speeches galore with long-winded introductions before each one and songs as transitions.

The favorite part of Portes-Ouvertes for many people, especially teachers and students, is that there is no class! (As in school, not a lack of classiness)

After all the speeches, we went through each class and they did presentations for the academic classes. For technical classes, the kids applied their skills and built walls, made lightbulb demonstrations, tatted lace, made foods, made beds, tables, etc.

Health Club giving out free rapid HIV tests

The clubs also did demonstrations on what they had learned. The Health Club did some HIV/AIDS education and sponsored an AIDS monument. They even did some free rapid tests on teachers, students and guests.

My Girls' Club did condom demonstrations and explained the reasons to use one. I was really proud of my girls for working on their public speaking and doing a great demo.

"Campus sans SIDA" (Campus without AIDS)

After the grand tour, everyone enjoyed food and drinks in the teachers' lounge. The important people all drank "petit Guinness."

And that's how you attract new students to your school!

The Tipping Point

The week before last, the fourth sequence finished, so I had to evaluate my students. Due to recent changes to my luck, I now only teach one level and on two days a week! I was looking forward to some downtime and more days to recover from teaching.

Everybody knows the phrase "the straw that broke the camel's back."

I had evaluated my students on Tuesday and spent all evening Tuesday and all day and all night Wednesday (and even into Thursday morning) grading my exams. It was not quite the depressing experience that it generally is, because this time there was one perfect score and more than 10 (out of 140+) students passed!

I had decided during my last sequence that I would do something to "motivate" my students. "Motivation" is top secret code (or Cameroonian slang) for bribery. In this case, the bribe was one pen each for the top 10 scoring students.

I had all 140+ students at one time, which is unusual and hasn't happened for ages (besides exam days). I got them all settled down by talking nonsense to them (English) and proceeded to announce the top grades and present them with their pens. Everyone applauded and was really happy for them...until I ran out of pens.

Then it was all DONNE-MOI MON PART!!! OU EST MON BIC?! JE N'AI PAS DE BIC, MADAME!!!! (Give me mine! Where's my pen? I don't have a pen, ma'am!)

I calmed down the riot and got everyone back to their seats and then called the heads of the classes up (Carpentry, Home Ec, Electricity, Masonry) to collect the exams for their sections.

...and it was back to the riot. OU EST MON EVALUATION?! ELLE A VOLE MON EVALUATION!!! ELLE EST EN TRAIN DE DECHIRER MON EVALUATION!!! MADAME, VOUS AVEZ ECRIT UN 8 ICI; POURQUOI J'AI UN ZERO?! (Where's my exam? She stole my exam and now she's tearing it up! Ma'am, you wrote an 8 here - why do I have a 0?)

I did the mature, adult thing and I put my arms out and said if I could touch them, they were too close. I felt weird doing it, but they really were breathing my air.

I got the students back in their desks and proceeded with a very angry lecture:

   Do you like getting zeros on your exams? Do you like having mediocre grades? If so, leave. Do you like to waste your time and mine? Leave. Do you like to waste your parents money and keep your classmates from learning? Leave, because I've had enough. Why am I here, if you learn nothing?

I had two students leave class. I did not miss them. After I let them sit in stunned and shamed silence for maybe 30 seconds, I turned around to write the correct answers to the exam on the board. I got all the way until 'second person plural,' before it happened.

The board fell on the floor and tried to take out my left foot. The students immeadiately started screaming and shouting and carrying on about how it was sorcery that made it fall. I turned around, closed my eyes and took a deep breath. It was one of those moments where you either have to laugh or to cry. Ever the pragmatist, I chose laughter, because if I cried, my students would just be worse for the rest of the year.

I left my classroom at the end of class and was happy that I had my sunglasses with me, because I had that moment, the tipping point moment, where that last thing just pushes you over the edge. Mine was having that board fall, I looked at it and thought, "This is one of those moments that would send someone home."

Luckily, I am very stubborn and a weekend in Bertoua fixed me up just right.