Marriage Proposals and Admirers

In the US, sometimes you are walking down the street doing nothing to attract attention and some random person will lean out their car window and whistle or yell something at you. Because they are moving fast, it's generally something very articulate like "Yeaaaaaaahhhhh!!!" or "Hey, baby!" It's annoying, but over so quickly that it doesn't really bother you.

Cameroonians are experts at "deranging" people. If you are female, someone is going to say something to you. If you are a "blanc," someone is going to say something to you.

If you're a "blanc," it's usually something along the lines of "Le blanc! le blanc! le blanc! Hello! How are you? Tomates! Cinquante! Cinquant! (50! 50!)" If the neighborhood is more fulfulde-speaking, you will probably be called "Nasarrah!" You may even be called "le wot" or "la wot" (from pidgin), but that's considered very rude. "Lablanche" oftentimes seems to be more a statement of fact than a way to bother someone. People use it the way that in the US, you might say "Hey you! You with the ponytail!" It's just another identifier.

Now about being a lady and never worrying about being unattractive... The way people catcall here is pretty funny, especially when you compare the experience to going past a construction site at home. It generally goes something like this, "Cherie, cherie, cherie! Lablanche! Tu cherches un moto? Tu cherches un mari! Je veux te marier! I love you!" (My dear, my dear, my dear! White girl! Are you looking for a moto? Are you looking for a husband! I want to marry you! I love you!)

When you translate it, it seems comical and almost sweet. No random stranger in the US would yell at you that they love you and want to marry you and give you a nice house! No one in a restaurant would come up to you and tell you that they have a very nice job and want to provide for you.

On the other hand, when all you want to do is enjoy your juice alone and an older gentleman sits down next to you and wants your email address, so he can write you letters, it's pretty annoying.

If you've talked to me long enough at home, I've probably bent your ear about how annoying it is that some women play hard to get, because it makes people think that when you're being direct that you probably mean something entirely different. Unfortunately, Cameroon is a country of women who play hard to get, so the men here are used to rejection. They don't realize that when you say, "Leave me alone. I don't love you and I have no interest in marrying you," that you actually mean it.

Here are some strategies that could potentially help with the situation:

"I can't give you my phone number, because I don't remember it and I left it at home."
"No, you can't call me. I have a fiance/boyfriend in the US and he's very jealous!"
"No, I can't be with you. I have a very jealous boyfriend in Yaounde. He's a gendarme." *
"No, I like to be alone."

These work on the more polite admirers, but there will always be that drunk, Peter, in the market, who despite all your protests, just wants "to be together with you." **


*Gendarmes are the police officers who are armed with the really big guns.
**This is made all the more confusing by the fact that almost every conversation here ends with "On est ensemble" (We are together). It seems to mean that we're all in this together or that we understand each other.