I've now been in Cameroon just over 5 months and it really has seemed to be a turning point. The past couple of weeks I've been dealing with a lot of homesickness and my brain constantly asking me, "What are you doing here?!" in a high-pitched, panicked mental voice. I think part of my difficulties were due to the fact that I never actually answered the question and instead just thought of all the reasons that I can't go home (no job, shame, no job, no job, no plans, no job, no job, etc. Did I mention that if I went home I'd be unemployed?).
In a moment of astounding clarity, I actually thought about what I'd do if I went home. I would study for the GRE and probably do quite well. I would spend a year applying for grad schools and being a substitute teacher and live in my apartment. That is not actually a scary situation.
The fact that I was able to think that through and let myself think of going home as a viable option, which made staying here a decision and not something that I have to do. I've decided to stay and I've decided to do well here. I'm going to do more than get by, because doesn't two years of just getting by sound awful? That was definitely a contributing factor to the homesickness.
It certainly helps that this past weekend I had two (almost required attendance) social events for school. On Friday, we had our amicale, which is a monthly staff social. There's also a financial aspect to it. Everyone has the option to participate in "tontines;" everyone contributes a set amount of money (or soap or oil) each month and one person gets the pot. They rotate the honors, but it helps people who live far away to cover their travel expenses or for someone to build a house or whatever. Everyone also contributes 10,000CFA for the year that the staff votes on giving to people, if they have a baby, get married or there's a death in the family. You can also get loans and use it as a savings account. Anyway, it's a really cool system.
We had a practice amicale at training once a week and it was like pulling teeth to go. We had so much on our plates already that the fact that we were required to go during our 2.5 hours a day to socialize was just too much. Everyone was always a little pissed to be there and more than a little frustrated. Vastly unpleasant.
The reality of amicale (at least at my school) is sooooo much nicer. This week I got there two hours late and the meeting was just getting started. I sat down between Desiree, an English teacher, and Evaristus, an electricity teacher. We drank "white wine" and ate peanuts and listened and gossiped.
Let me tell you a little something about "white wine." Me, I like to drink some cool white wine, when it's hot outside - you get to cool off and unwind at the same time. White wine here, though, is not made from grapes. It's palm wine. It ferments inside the tree. How cool! The flavor almost defies description- it's earthy, a little bitter, a little sweet, kinda herby and it doesn't taste like alcohol....
which explains why my entire staff got really drunk on Friday night. Everyone was yelling and laughing and fighting and drinking and being hungry and the meeting still went on. When it was time for the tontines, the hosting group had to present the money to the winners. The first giver gave this long benediction before handing over the money. Then, I heard my name. I had to give the second tontine. Eloquence escapes me at moments of unexpected public speech. In lieu of the lovely benediction, I said, "I forgot everything he just said, but we wish you well!" I was really happy that the power was out and we had only one lantern, because no one could see me blush. For whatever reason, teaching 120 students doesn't faze me, but 20 adults....
We finally ate at 8 or 9. It was a quarter of chicken, legumes (sauted greens), batons de manioc, bread, more palm wine and red wine (called Casanova. tasted like Communion).
All that palm wine explains why the next day, Teachers' Day, we lost the soccer match against the Lycee Classique and had a very low turn-out for the parade. That's mostly speculation on my part; I was home in bed with a headache. I did make it out to the Teachers' Day party at the Cafeteriat bar. We all had two drinks each, more batons, another quarter of chicken and piment (hot sauce). After everyone digested a bit, we all started dancing and I got some dance lessons from the discipline master.
It was a lovely weekend and it went a long way to making me feel more at home in Dimako. It's going to be a good two years.
*I have no way of verifying that stat because of a combination of laziness and slow internet.
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